A [love] letter to Oscar.

As I try to find the words I so need to say and the questions I must ask of you, Oscar, I sit here in a whirlwind of words you have written for the world to read. I fear I cannot find the most powerful pieces of work you have placed in my idle hands as I would not want to disappoint, or fail your memory in any way. I feel as though I am standing on the shoulders of a giant, you have become my mentor; my muse. Your words and life alike have inspired this girl of the 21st century and although you have lived many life times before mine, I carry you around inside me, you have encapsulated my soul and for this I can never part. My greatest wish was for you to see this new world in that I live in, for the judgments that you faced during your time would have not had the effect they carried then. You would of had the chance, like so many of us now, to live a longer life with the freedoms we have to write the words we feel that come from the heart and the luxury to speak of the love that dare not speak its name. Love weakens us all but Bosie – ah Bosie, why could you not see this was a poisoned well? His youth, his beauty, the passion you so desired, turned on you and took your youth, beauty and passion. In my house of cards, his name, Bosie, remains silent. Forever shall I hold a grudge!
I’ve often wondered what more writings I have now missed out on. What other words I shall never read due to your untimely departure. I often think of your children and how they missed out on their father’s kindness that they needed as they grew into adults.
Was he worth it Oscar? Was he?
Would you change your poison for all the blue china in the world if you had the chance?
Would you still swallow the bitter over the sweet?
I weep for you. My heart it breaks. I feel this death time and time again with each whisper of your name. Forever shall I hold a grudge…
The Sorrow that endureth for Ever.
The Pleasure that abideth for a Moment.

My undying love,


~ by kagomesakura on May 31, 2011.

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